The Key To Better Connection

One of my favorite questions in a mixed faith relationship is:

“What might I not understand?”

It’s such a simple question, but it opens the door to curiosity instead of judgment.

When you ask it, you pause and remember that your person's choices, beliefs, and feelings make sense to them. Even if you see things differently, they have a whole story, set of experiences, and perspective that has shaped their view.

This question creates space. It invites compassion. It shifts you from trying to be “right” into trying to connect.

The best part? You don’t even have to agree with your partner’s perspective to benefit. Just the act of wondering what you might not understand helps you soften, listen differently, and see your partner as a whole human—not just their opinions about faith.

So next time things feel tense, take a deep breath and ask yourself: “What might I not understand?”

You might be surprised by how much more love and connection comes from that place.